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Mr. Greenjeans

The Half-Wit

A man owned a small farm in the outback. The Dep't Of Human Services claimed he was not paying  proper wages to his help and sent an agent out to interview him.  

'I need a list of your employees and how much you pay them,'  demanded the agent.

'Well,' replied the farmer, 'there's my farm hand who's been with me for 3 years. I pay him $200 a week plus free room and board. The cook has been here for 18 months, and I pay her $150 per week plus free room and board.

Then there's the half-wit. He works about 18 hours every day and does about 90% of all the work around here. He makes about $10 per week, pays his own room and board, and I buy him a bottle of bourbon every Saturday night. He also sleeps with my wife occasionally.'

'That's the guy I want to talk to...the half-wit,' says the agent.

'That would be me,' replied the farmer.  

 

Animal Identification

A Farmer walks into the bedroom holding a sheep under his left arm,sees his wife is lying on the bed,  and says "see, this is the pig I get intimate with when you're not in the mood"

Confused, his wife says "that's not a pig, it's a sheep"

The Farmer looks at his wife and says "I wasn't talking to you!"